Charles Jones wrote in his book, Life Is Tremendous, that in five years you will be the same person you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read. Arnold Schwarzenegger says in his book, Be Useful, that you will grow as you find ways to provide a service that is truly beneficial to someone other than yourself. The bigger the challenges, the greater the growth.
Your physical appearance may attract people to you, but if you have nothing of value inside to offer, they will drift away.
I was always interested in bonsai. I admired the skill that it took to create little sculptures from living trees, and I wanted someone to teach me how it was done. I found that my grandson Alex has been doing it for years. He gave me this LEGO tree shown here and has offered to teach me how he does it. I have now started growing real trees. Besides learning a new skill and creating an interesting conversation subject, this experience has created a stronger bond between us.
When someone helps you in some way, there are a few things to do to express your gratitude. We obviously should thank them right away. We might even follow up with a thank-you note. Please don’t use a text message or email. Take the time to send a handwritten note. No one does that anymore, so it makes a much bigger impact. If you don’t believe these steps are sufficient, there are other options. Think of something applicable and appropriate. I know that requires more effort than sending a box of candy. Henry Ford once said, “Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it.” Do it anyway.
What are the possible rewards you could give for favors you have received? Perhaps tickets to a dinner, a show, a seminar, or a sporting event. Why not arrange an introduction to someone they would like to meet? Send them a book they had mentioned being interested in. It is not the dollar amount but the thoughtfulness behind the gift.
A friend of mine wanted to construct a large storage shed and garage on a property he owned but was having a difficult time getting the township to issue the building permit required. He asked me for advice since I have had some experience with those situations. I told him I would take care of it for him, and I delivered the permits 10 days later. Sometime after that I was trying to help my grandson, Christian, find a special ride to take him and his girlfriend to their senior prom. My friend, without my making any request, offered to let us use his beautifully restored antique Chevrolet. There was one caveat: only I was to drive it. I took them to the prom in style. He never said it was a returned favor, but I believed it was. It made me think that the universe has a scorecard or balance sheet to make sure that genuine, good deeds are rewarded, sometimes in mysterious ways.
That’s the two-way street: what you receive from people, and what you give back.
Search your memory. Who taught you something that’s still paying you back — and what are you passing on in return? What’s one thing you know that could save someone else the trouble you went through?
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